Chapter 2.My honest experience in a psychiatric ward. Expectations vs Reality.

Light- by sleeping at last
I promise I’ll do better.
I will always hold you close,
But I will learn to let you go.
I promise I’ll do better.

Scared? I was too. The stigma in our society that has brought mental ilness seems like everything sounds like its a bunch of crazy people.I was wrong. It was the exact help that i needed. Its good to reach out for medical help for yourselve or loved ones before its too late.

On 2/6/19 i had my relapses during my working hours in Hospital Serdang ward 7B. I’ve self harmed before help came. Thats when they decided to warded me to get the right diagnose and optimize my medications.

I was SCARED. i was TERRIFIED, i was ALONE, i was going nuts trying to escape this admission.

But what i’ve saw, learned and hear was priceless. My admission was more than a treatment to me. It healed me by meeting these wonderful few people that im about to share about. Each are unique in their own ways. Special in their own personality that does not define by their illness.

The first friend that ever came up to me name M. She has Bipolar Disorder. And she is always in her manic phase. But she was the ward entertainer. The big sister that guards to wards and each other. Oh, and she’s a “Lawyer” in KWSP. When she talks. You would just know she’s real lawyer. She has a very strong personality and she sings well too. She came up to me and said hi and started to introduce each other. I slowly felt welcomed there. I miss you Mairanti. I hope’d you recover soon. 🙂

F was another friend with Borderline Personality Disorder and Bipolar disorder. If you’re not sure what is Borderline Personality Disorder is. Look for it up here at the link below. She went through a lot. A lot is going through her mind everytime i look at her. Her parents arent much of a support to her. Not once they i saw they ever visited her. She wanted me to share at my blog of her imaginary friend of hers name Suraya. She could be nice and bad at time but never appears. She’s still young and has so much potential in her. I really wish the best for her.

A with autism, she was the special one. Autism is a condition that is characterize a complex neurobehavioral condition that includes impairments in social interaction and developmental language and communication skills combined with rigid, repetitive behaviors. Because of the range of symptoms, this condition is now called autism spectrum disorder (ASD).  She is nothing but a sweet girl that wouldnt harm us all. She just needed the care and love she deserves.

Ale is another friend of mine. She has MDD( major depressive disorder ) and got admitted for ECT also known as electroconvulsive therapy that is being done under anesthesia. It is usually done with patients are not responding well to other treatments. Anyways, according to her its 40th ECT done. I really wish for the best for her. Its very brave for her to go through multiples of ECT. She a bisexual and is opened about it. Regardless of whom she chooses, i hope she finds someone that derserves her .

Kak M. A lady diagnosed with post partum depression. Post partum depression is depression after giving birth. But if you look at her, she wouldnt believe that she’s a mother of 4. She might be small but she had a great multiple journey of pregnancies that she shared with us. She small and strong. Thats what i can describe her. I hope all her problems solved and she gets better and return to the arms of her childrens,

S with bipolar disorder. I called her mami in the ward. She reminds me of my mother so much. She always teaches me mandarin in while i was in the ward. It’s very heartbreaking for me to see no one came and visit her . Not even her husband and childrens nor friends. She teared and i comfort her saying that i’ll always be there for her. She worked hard all her years and i can even see a varicose veins on both leg. She’s suffering . I wish her nothing but health and happiness. I truly miss her smile she always gave me.

But my last person or a person that i couldve been a big sister to was this one girl. A 15 years old girl admitted right before i was discharged. It broke my heart and brought me to tears when i heard her sister told me that she has attempted to jump of a building. She looks scared. I wish her nothing for a brighter future or whatever reasons that lead her to this situation. Before i was discharged, i just gave them a comfort words that things will get better in time. All she needs is just a good support system.

Here lies a point. These are normal people who went through a lot of pain in their life that lead them to this condition. They are not crazy. They are not nuts. All they want is just to recover and carry on with a normal life. So please, do not neglect or bully these kind of people when you meet one. Remember they are humans too.

Published by MindSolution

an avid reader, a writer and a resident doctor with bipolar

2 thoughts on “Chapter 2.My honest experience in a psychiatric ward. Expectations vs Reality.

  1. Well… ward 2C is my safe space. I run there when I really need peace of mind, not only when I relapsed. I met a lot of great people there, and it is such a good experience to have. So nice to meet you, you are very nice ☺️☺️☺️

    Liked by 1 person

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